There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
