Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I stole a fireplace last night.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
