whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
