I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
