she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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