Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
