Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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