Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
