was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
we're so committed to being not committed
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
