the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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