hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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