i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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