I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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