Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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