How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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