plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Sorry about my life...
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
