When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I would fuck him just for his dog
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
