I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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