Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
