there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
