i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
