im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
