you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
