toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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