i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Randomize
