I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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