to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
