he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
