Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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