Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
