It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
