You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
