And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
