Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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