If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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