woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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