I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
