i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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