I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
