wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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