Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
