I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
