I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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