It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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