Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Randomize
