can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
