some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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