hell yes lets make some ravioli
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
