You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
