Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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