just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
